Power of Solitude: Why Being Alone Doesnt Mean Being Lonely

People who view alone time as fulfilling experience greater well-being, while those who see it as a form of deprivation report higher levels of loneliness and distress. Society warns us that solitude is a sign of failure, a problem to be solved, a void to be filled with endless social interactions, digital connections, and productivity.…

People who view alone time as fulfilling experience greater well-being, while those who see it as a form of deprivation report higher levels of loneliness and distress. Society warns us that solitude is a sign of failure, a problem to be solved, a void to be filled with endless social interactions, digital connections, and productivity. The phrase “social isolation” is thrown around like a diagnosis, as if spending time alone is inherently damaging. It happens to all of us – your friends might not be into the same games (or into video games at all) or have moved on to other games. That’s completely normal and not your fault in any way – you’re not an outcast. People also have different playstyles and have different levels of skill.

Yet my sense of fulfillment and connection remains strong—not despite my solitude, but because of how I engage with it. The outlook for a positive impact on the pro-social behaviors of MMOs is not strong. This conclusion is based not just on the evidence for and against its benefits, but on thinking about the likely consequences of the contingencies it operates—what behaviors it reinforces.

Single player games that don’t feel lonely

Something like the solo mode for Sagrada would be like this. You still draft dice and fill in your stained glass window like normal, but it gives you a score to beat with the dice that you don’t use. Basically you beat the total that the dice add up to, to win. It changes up the game a little, gives you more to think about but doesn’t add to much. Therefore, solo gaming gives me a good mental refresh. It allows me to focus on something that isn’t work.

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But sometimes you want to know how to play a game well before you teach it. It comes up pretty often with bigger games where you want to know it well. Only so much can be gleaned from reading the rulebook or watching how to play videos.

I think with Aeon’s End the only thing that might scale is the health, if I remember correctly. For Gloomhaven, they recommend you maybe play on a slightly harder level than normal. With the pandemic, solo gaming has really taken off. It is rare now to see a game without a solo experience in the box. But is that for you and do all the games really need that solo experience?

Other social engagements Even if you don’t like grouping up for content, you can still want to play in a group. Roleplaying, for instance, requires another person to interact with. There are games that facilitate a certain amount of storytelling, like The Sims or most BioWare titles, but in order to really throw open the doors and be what you wish you need more players. Maybe you prefer playing solo, but if you want to interact with others you need, well, others. It’s not the only social interaction available, however. For some people, playing an MMO is a way to keep in touch with friends who might be doing totally different things, or a way to get the fun of crafting and playing merchant.

This contradicts the dominant societal narrative, which too often assumes that stability and connection must come from permanence and external belonging. True contentment is internal, self-sustaining, and available to anyone who understands how to cultivate it. Not to mention, as we grow older, some of us find less time for playing games and coordinating play times with your equally busy friends can become a hassle and you end up not playing anyway. If you’ve been a multiplayer gamer for a long time, getting into single-player games (or getting back) can often feel boring ffx or even make you feel lonely. Amidst the trials and tragedies, there have been unexpected moments of progress and celebration. The Bright Side is a series in which we delve back into the past twelve months and pluck out those positives.

Scan the subreddit and you’ll find plenty of new parents sharing similar sentiments; and, of course, there are the only children, or those living in varying states of isolation, or even those who have tons of friends, but none interested in playing board games. There are a number of reasons that people play solo games. But I want to touch on some of the reasons that I play solo games. The idea of solo gaming is likely odd for a lot of people because gaming is often a social experience. But let’s talk about why you might want to, and why it is booming. This is where the game’s at Sometimes, there are games you want to play that just don’t exist as a single-player ride.

Why Solo Doesn’t Mean Lonely in the World of Games

The thing is, though, that some people actively prefer the challenge that comes with trying to do something solo that ought to require a full team. Back when I was first playing World of Warcraft, one of my great joys as a Paladin was finding ways to solo quests that should have required a full group. It was slow, it was difficult, and every so often, I had to admit that it just wasn’t possible. But it was an added challenge, and it was accomplished without messing around with a difficulty slider.

While it’s still possible to immerse yourself in that world, it does tend to affect it. Aside from the social isolation aspect for some people as I mentioned above, there are some drawbacks. I’ve done a small poll on my Twitter to see what games people tend to gravitate towards and I was surprised to see the majority was single-player games.

Play a Video Game Alone, and You’re Never Lonely

Dopamine regulation plays a crucial role in this divergence. My experience aligns with emerging research on solitude—not as an absence of connection, but as a state shaped by neurocognitive processes. Understanding how the brain processes solitude reveals why some thrive alone while others feel isolated. This would predict that social groups in the virtual world could never be as stable, large, or long-lasting as they are in the real world, with all of the potential negative impacts of that digital instability for their members. As I mentioned in my Gaming while bedridden post, RPG games are great for immersing yourself in fictional worlds. They can be a good substitute when you crave a connection.

They are not environments in which lasting, supporting friendships can develop easily—the lasting relationships that we hear about tend to occur when people step out of the digital and into the real world. The virtual nature of the relationships, the purpose of the games (to win or succeed), and the instability of the digital community make it hugely unlikely that any long-term social benefit will accrue from this digital activity. You can have as much fun playing video games as when playing with other people. When I was younger in the PS2 era, the games were mostly all single player, and I had no problem playing them from start to finish, even multiple times. The Ratchet & Clank and the Jak series’ were (and still are) my favorite games of all time.